Celebrating Singleness: 4 steps to embracing singlehood.

It is 2023 and humans have finally figured out the new way of distracting themselves: drumroll please, yes! the new way is “finding the most single person or unmarried person and pester them with questions”. If you actually believe this and thought yes!, it is new; then newsflash, you just left Socrates’ lecture wherever he would have it at. Humans have been doing this for the longest and it is a jab, banter, extreme sport and at the same time an unwelcome and welcome concern, but at the end of the day, those thinking they can’t find a significant other and even those that can’t just stay single will find relief in being “Single“

Honestly, I had written a nice one, finished it well well and then this wordpress jammed on me, so here I am rewriting angrily so yeah.

There are so many reasons that can be brought up for why people are never single, some just be hopping from one relationship to the next as if they are Doctor Strange in the multiverse of madness. Some just succumb to pressure and just want to save face, some even end up in marriages that started off from a place where they shouldn’t have been, now they married, unhappy with kids that they can’t fully love and take care of. Pressure comes in different stages and some may agree with me. Ever heard of these:

When will you get a girlfriend or a boyfriend because you are not getting any younger unless you swing for the same team. When will you marry because your mates are getting married and pretty soon you will not be desirable. I have been passing your house and no baby sounds because time has gone and we need to carry them, in fact your friends’ kids need playmates. Pressure will always be there every stage of the way and the problem of succumbing to it gets worse because it is no longer just one person but it becomes more than one.

First step to embracing singlehood is Understanding that it is Ok to be single, you can’t believe that there are some people who have started dating from as early as thirteen and now they are in their late twenties still dating, there are some who break up with someone today and the next day they are already posting someone new or pursuing someone new (Like excuse me what is a break, when is a break, who is a break, why is a break), don’t get me wrong I ain’t judging (well maybe a little, like 70% of the time… but ain’t judging). There is a reality that sits nicely when one understands that it is really Ok to be single, no one is really that interested with people’s dating habits unless they want to make fun of them, or unless they are just weird. So to do these things just to please that kind of people is a waste.

Which brings us to the second step which is Learning to say NO, a lot of people don’t fully grasp the power of NO, maybe because they weren’t receiving No’s as children and now they are entitled to only receiving YES!!. Others have all the kindness in the world within them that they don’t want to say NO to others for fear of letting them down. No is complete and doesn’t always need an explanation, saying No to premature stuff, getting involved in relationships that will not stay longer than DaBaby’s career, No protects a person from situations where they would have received massive damage, No is good for personal growth, and saying No not just to others but to even yourself when you know you are about to engage in mistakes.

Thirdly, Finding a hobby, let us keep it a buck; if you believe hobbies are expensive then you need to be slapped more than Mr. Rock (say NO to Violence please). A hobby is an activity, interest, or pastime that is undertaken for pleasure or relaxation, done during one’s own leisure time. Hobbies will range from cooking, sports, sewing, yoga, hiking, boardgames and so many others (yes, hobbies can also be things that make you or others money). When one discovers something that they find pleasure or relaxation in outside of asking others when they will find a girlfriend/boyfriend or outside of looking for the next girlfriend /boyfriend; they won’t be actively looking for such or asking such questions. GET A HOBBY!!

The last step to embracing singlehood is Therapy, in as much as I would recommend this for everything (says me who hasn’t gone to therapy yet mhu, anyway do as I say and not as I do okay?). Ever heard the saying, people are walking angry in these streets, well it stems from the reality of being hurt so many times, hurt by family, friends, work, society, wow even the government. All of this inherited and other forms of trauma causes people to not know themselves, some are aware while some are unaware, some tend to be abusive, recluse, distrusting, violent and so many other things. The result is that all this show up in different relationships, because of the same trauma, others do not even know how to treat people right, others are viewed as objects, others are viewed as trees devoid of emotions, others don’t even want to be alone because that is a trigger, some don’t even know all these things, but the only way to know is through therapy. So instead of trying to find yourself through various relationships, get therapy and find yourself through that. GET HELP!!

Thank you for always supporting and reading, don’t forget to share all these and do comments on the blog, also comment the topics you would like me to cover.