Blabbermouth, snitch, gossip, tell on others; there are so many ways in which we as human beings spread information, be it rumours, facts, general information and even inaccurate information. Half the time we do it with bad intentions and the other half we do it with good ones. We have been victims, we have been instigators, it is really hard to have never done one or the other; as research proves that, kids do most of these until they find other problem-solving skills (you may have done it as an adult). Most of the time we find it hard to deal with such situations and we end up reacting differently which in turn worsens the situation as one gets more villified.
Now this blog is a bit personal as I have been in situations where if my side wasn’t told then boom I would be something else/ somewhere else.
Hanging out at my friend’s house one time, I walked out of the room to go get water but instead of going straight to the kitchen, I used a different route, Bedroom-living room-dining and then kitchen where the cups were, as I was by the dining room, I noticed that the fridge of the “Kelvinator” was open and as I was about to close it; the househelp creeped up on me and shouted in an accusatory tone (mind you I was a ghetto kid and our side of the story never mattered, we were seen as thieves, witches and wizards or people that will never amount to anything) I was already losing this battle, before I continue this specific story, I had a similar encounter with the same househelp, when my big brother asked me to go borrow a DVD for a movie we wanted to watch, his friend gave it to me and I took the CD and put it under my shirt (I was one weird kid, shy, slow talker etc so that never helped much), As I was explaining, this man had me by the arm and went to ask the guy who then told them he had given it to me, so now you know where we are coming from with the help.
So this man is accusing me of something but he couldn’t point it out, he says go but now I am panicking and then I ask my friend to say that he asked me to go get water (I was young and dumb because why did I ask him to do that) then the help calls my friend who then refuses, then the help tells my friend to tell me to go home, people assumed that I had stolen (why, because grown up will listen to grown ups before they listen to kids), people didn’t believe me and at the end of day I had temporarily lost a friend (This was the continuation of my trauma and the beginning of my imposter syndrome). Sometimes when navigating a story your side will be bashed from the get-go, you may make mistakes in the process and that will be that.
But to navigate such a situation is to stick to your truth, never falter and continue standing tall because the truth always come out whether late or on time but it does, now consequences may not really appear to the wrongdoers but sometimes it does. I personally don’t want to hold on to the belief that karma remembers the address but maybe it does, the man had created a stereotype of me and considering the country I am from, rumours travel faster than a viral tiktok and stick longer than a dictator. The stereotype stereotyped.
Social media is one of the best platforms to ever exist but it is a double-edged sword, Social media is also one of the worst platforms to ever exist (two truths can co-exist, two sides to a story exist, a wrong and a right can be found in a situation). I was twice caught up in social media drama, one where it was a case of mistaken identity perpetuated by a group that didn’t like me and a person that felt like they owned me cause they did a little good, the second time; I saw it coming and I still got the sharp end of the knife . I will not go into details because that was funny, crazy drama that involved other people’s personal lives which I am not comfortable sharing. All in all, it was important to have people be in my corner and helped amplify my side.
Having others stick beside you in these situations help in others hearing your side of the story but holding on to that idea of others helping you is a bit childish (the world is not very rosy like that, people have agendas and they side with the side that benefits them, we have seen people switch sides, Amber Heard v Johnny, Chris Brown v the woman from that ship incident, Jonathan Majors v the other person, Malawian presidents, etc) it may sound a little dark but reality has to sink in, I am not advocating for not trusting people but what I would say is “be very cautious of your words and who you say it to). Navigating a two sided story by being intentional with ones words and how they can create, destroy, build or bring repercussions to yourself (like that tiktok chef, and all the others who got cancelled).
It is a bit Ironic that in several situations I have been wronged and someone can say, “wow, this man has a good relationship with the giver of victim cards” but nope, there were times where I did say things out of spite as well but I owned up, which is another way of navigating a two sided story, the wrong side owning up and being honest. But in the scenarios that I have shared, I was wronged and I was in the right (don’t say that, that is what all people say), it left me broken a bit because some of the people were people I had considered friends, some of the people were people I adored but yes, I lost a few on the way and that helped me to learn even more, who an acquintance, a collegue, a friend, a close friend and family were/are. I actively keep a tight circle but I am still kind and nice to everyone regardless of how I have been treated.
So let us go back again, Sticking to your story, having people have your back to an extent, owning up when you have wronged others and try to make it right, and being intentional. This is how you navigate a two sided story when it brings chaos, violence and doubt.
I realize I haven’t shared some personal thoughts even though this is “thoughtsofwiz”, I have tried to be accurate but we back!! You will enter my inner world and get to understand how it can be crazy and disorganized by I hope you find the beauty in that.
WordsOfWizdom 
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